Are You Invested?

My approach to coaching is quite simple really, I help you get clear on what you want, what success looks and feels like for you, then we identify the blocks and limitations (often self-imposed) that are in the way. Then we dissolve them, creating shifts in mindset and perspective, which then frees you up, so you can go after the success you want. That’s it in a nutshell.  

It’s really easy to get stuck and lose sight of the big picture. I was out shopping the other day and I heard someone say, “The older I get my big dreams just keep getting smaller and smaller.” This is to do with our focus, how we invest our time and resources. I say frequently that we often take better care of our plants, property and pets better than we do ourselves. When was the last you stopped, took some time to look at your life and question how you are living it? Are you happy? Are you stuck? Are you certain there is a better way to live but not sure what it is?

I was talking to a new client recently and he told me he had big goals but was finding hard to make them happen. He told me that more often than not he came home from a busy day, too tired to build the business that was his true passion, his big goal. I asked him how important his goal was and what it meant to him. If your goals are not important you will not make them happen; write that down. Next, we explored how he spent his time when he got home from work and what we discovered unblocked him and has allowed him to move forward. The real issue was not lack of time or tiredness; as he first reported.  

My client explained that when he got home from work, he fed his cat, fed himself and then settled down in front of his…playstation. I inquired after his passion for gaming and he gave me a blow by blow account of his personal gaming history, the consoles he had owned, his top games of all time and a detailed synopsis of the narrative of the game he was currently playing and the characters in the game. When he spoke, he lit up, sounded enthused and spoke with confidence and passion. I then asked him how many days a week he gamed, and on average how many hours he was gaming each time he played. Do you see where I’m going with this? At first, he said he did not know as he was so caught up in the game time just whizzed past. I asked him to give me a ballpark. 

This guy was smart and I could hear the smile on his lips when he claimed he did not know. I gently pressed him and reminded him that there would be no judgement on my part, the reason that my clients report that they feel safe with me is that they know that I do not judge them and I don’t. My role is to help unpick the messes we get ourselves in and help you to create solutions to move forward.  No one needs me to make them feel worse than they already do. “Honestly,” he said, “I game 6-7 nights a week and I don’t really want to admit it, but usually I play for 6-8 hours of time each time I play. I just get completely caught up in it. I then roll into bed at 2 am and I wake up exhausted. If I’m honest now I’ve said it out loud this has turned into a problem.” 

“So,” I said. “If you are gaming 7 days a week, if we times that by 8 hours a session, that’s 56 hours a week that you are devoting to gaming, that’s 2,912 hours a year. How do I know that? I’ve just worked it out on the calculator on my phone. We all have gifts, Maths…not mine! Do you think you could make your business happen, your dream if you weren’t so tired and had 56 hours a week to develop it?” Of course, he agreed he could, easily. We, of course, went on to look at what was driving the pattern that this guy was caught up in. Awareness is the first step to changing anything. That’s why coaching is so powerful, it allows you to look at yourself and your life in a safe and supported way, equips you with tools and personal strategies and empowers you to make changes. No fuss, no mess and no judgment on my watch.   

I also pointed out that he spoke with more passion and enthusiasm about the fictional avatar that he was playing on the screen than he did about himself or his own life and it seemed that he was more invested in the central characters fictional life than he was in his own. He considered that for a moment and then mused, that if he could transfer that passion and enthusiasm to creating his business, his success would be inevitable, BOOM, mindset shift. 

Please do not misunderstand me, there is nothing wrong with gaming or any other hobby. Howeverwhen a hobby or interest gets out of hand and takes over your life, it has become unbalanced, maybe even unhealthy. It’s really easy to create distraction activities when we have a hesitance or resistance to do something. How many times have you thought to yourself, “Right today is the day I need to complete my tax return!” or whatever the dreaded task is and before you know it, you are rearranging your cutlery drawer or watching a cat play the piano on Youtube? We’ve all done it.  

The blocks that we claim to have, be it time, resources, tiredness is usually (but not always) a result of choices that we are making. Herein lies our power as human beings, our thinking faculty allows us the imagination to create a dream or vision for our lives. This same faculty (our thinking) allows us to make the choices that we need to make, to create the action to make the dream or goal happen. 

Put simply, Thoughts + Action = Success. 

I invite you to ask yourself…

Are truly invested in your life or is your focus elsewhere?

Are you losing a handle on your personal reality, in favour of a virtual one?

Are you spending time wisely building a life that makes you happy or has a distraction activity derailed you?

Ponder these questions and if you discover that you are stuck in a pattern and want to get out of it, find support to get clarity and dissolve the blocks that keep you stuck. If you think you need my support, reach out to me by emailing me directly on hello@paulscadding.com or call me on 07825371942 and we can set up a call to discuss how private coaching with me could help you to get the success you want. 

As ever I wish you EVERY success

Paul

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