“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”
– Dalai Lama
Leading on from yesterday’s post, I have another scenario for you to ponder.
You are struggling; you feel utterly worthless. You don’t feel good enough in any way; you feel you are failing at life and are unloveable.
Please comment and tell me what you would say to yourself. Be honest, please.
All ideas, thoughts, and opinions are welcome!
Here are some things to think about.
Compare the things you would say if this were someone you cared for, to what you would say to yourself. I doubt they are similar, for you see, we humans do this terrible thing. We treat others with love, support, compassion and kindness. But when it comes to ourselves, we are cruel, unkind, and dismissive, and it just won’t do. That unkind thing you do in your head is never going to create good. We feel bad, and we hope that our fortunes will change; someone will see us and tell us we are enough, validate us and fill us up. And, we hope that if we wait long enough, the pain will melt away. We must put in the work if we want things to be different. You can do it.
My love, I hope that you can hear me now; please, be loving to yourself, gentle and ever so kind. Kindness is nurturing, healing and helpful. Kindness and love is what you deserve. So much good will grow from you loving and supporting yourself.
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I think I would allow the negative thoughts to take over and continue but I know I deserve better than that. It’s just hard to diminish negative thoughts and self-talk.
Hi Caitlin, you are right it can be hard sometimes. There are times when the negative does take over and that does not mean we have failed. It means we need to respond. With, kindness, compassion, love, care, truth, honesty, gratitude and so on. Self-talk can be changed it takes time. The key for me is to replace the negative as quickly as possible.
Sadly, I expect I would have less patience with myself. I would probably be harsher, more critical , less compassionate and expect that I pull myself together.
My internal voice might even reinforce , or give evidence to validate, the feelings of worthlessness. I would try wrestling with this … but I might not win !
This is what is so interesting – we would likely never say to someone else “pull yourself together” it’s not kind and it is not motivational. So we need to choose to be kinder to ourselves. Inner critic can be a powerful voice but it does not know the Truth that the inner champion knows. Don’t wrestle – it’s angry and violent. Notice and make a kinder choice. Thanks for being so open and honest xxx
Thank you , I’m getting so much from these daily exercises ✨ really thought provoking & powerful 💖
Fantastic xxx
Unfortunately I’d probably indulge in those mistruths, until I really took the time to actively replace those lies with truths. It’s so much easier to be kinder to others! I’d love to know why this is the case and how we can rewire that thinking so that we don’t have to get so bogged down in that way of thinking for too long. I think I’ve got better over the years but it can be so exhausting.
It’s continuous labour of love. If it is better than it was it can be better in the future. xxx
When I get into a negative mind space about myself I can lean into it. It’s a path I know. I can easily find myself thinking I can’t do this. I can’t face this. I’ve lost before I’ve started.
I think I need to say; be kinder to yourself; you’ve got this; it’ll work out; trust in your own choices ; follow your own path…
I find it difficult to come back from confrontation, manipulation and anger. It wounds me; drags me down.
Think I need to remind myself I’m stronger than I realise. I’ve proven that at different times, but had lost that sense of self along the way.
I can get quite angry and upset with myself and start to feel useless. But your right Paul we should have more compassion and patience with ourselves 🥰
I would ask myself “what is the point to you” “you have no purpose in life”, “you are redundant”; but I am working on training myself to reverse the dialogue (as in Sunday’s response) and remember the things I CAN still do which bring happiness to others. Self-compassion is much harder!